


The Letter

by YoongisSmile



Category: Kpop - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Confession, M/M, One-Sided Love, Pain, Self-Hatred, Suicide, Suicide thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-06 09:26:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11597772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YoongisSmile/pseuds/YoongisSmile
Summary: Yoongi loves Jimin. That's why he wants to die.





	The Letter

**Author's Note:**

> Angst, angst, angst! And even more angst. Angst without end. I'm miserable. I poured all my feels into this. This is short and bad and angsty but i hope you like it. Feel free to curse me.

_It's 4 o'clock in the morning. Yoongi is standing on the rooftop. Seoul looks beautiful so early in the morning but Yoongi doesn't care, he doesn't care about anything anymore._  
_All the meaning he used to have left him, where did it go? There's no beauty, no light and no Park Jimin._  
_Maybe Yoongi should be scared, maybe he should cry, maybe he should be angry and in pain but he's not. There's nothing. He feels nothing._  
_He only wants to let go, wants to fall, wants to end._  
_How did it come to this?_  
_The letter. He left the letter under his pillow._  
_I hope Jimin finds it._  
_Jimin._  
_His Jimin._  
_His meaning._  
_And he does._  
_Lets' go._  
_Falls._  
_Ends._  
  
Jimin.  
It's me, Yoongi.  
Do you remember when we were young? we used to be best friends. We did everything together. During summer we always went to swim together, built treehouses and played from early morning to late night. We bought ice cream and sat under the bridge eating it. That was our place, used to be just our secret place.  
We laughed and cried together. You made me feel special and loved.  
You loved me and I loved you. It was always us, no matter what the other kids told us it was always you and me. Jimin and Yoongi. Forever. We were supposed to be forever.  
In high school we were put in different classes. I thought it would be okay because it would still always be us.  
Even separated it was us. You were put with Seokjin in the same class and I was alone. Alone but not lonely because I'd always have you.  
Until I didn't. What happened?  
I was always there for you, even when you fought with Seokjin or when you went through crushes and heartbreaks I never left your side.  
Not once. So why did you? Why did you leave me?  
You changed. You started hanging out with other people. I wasn't there anymore. I never left but I wasn't beside you anymore.  
Do you know that I cried?  
I cried myself to sleep countless night because of you. It hurt. It hurt so much I couldn't breathe. It hurt so much I thought I'd die. But I didn't.  
Why not.  
Why didn't I die.  
Because I thought that if I just wait you'll come back to me. I was sure.  
You'd never leave me for good. Not you.  
Even when everybody else left me and I was left alone in the darkness I thought you'd come back.  
I spent years in the darkness, suffocating in the darkness, choking on my own fears and emotions but I didn't die. Because you'd come back. I was so sure. You'd save me.  
But you didn't.  
I died. I died a little more every day you weren't there.  
Until you came back and I thought that you came to save me.  
But you didn't.  
You came to kill me. You came back but you didn't save me.  
You didn't see me in the darkness.  
I was invisible to you. You looked at me but you didn't see me. No one saw me.  
I was dying and no one saw me. You only saw Jungkook. Fucking Jungkook.  
Fucking perfect and handsome Jungkook.  
I sat there with you and Jungkook. Invisible.  
Dying. In so much pain but you didn't know. Couldn't see.  
Someone stabbed me every night. Not breathing with a knife getting twisted in my heart, I couldn't even scream or cry. I couldn't even die.  
Because you'd come back, you'd see, you'd save me. But you didn't.  
I was smiling, happy and positive but no one saw through it. No one saw that I was dying. No one saw my pain.  
If I would've been able to tell you. If I would've cried, would you have saved me? Would you have loved me?  
I loved you. I always loved you. Even when I was in pain I loved you.  
Forever. I love you. Park Jimin. I love you.  
  
Two days after Yoongis funeral Jimin sat on Yoongis bed in the house he'd spent most of his childhood in. He was holding the letter in his hand. Trembling in pain and endless crying.  
How could Yoongi do this. How could Yoongi leave him like this. In the darkness.  
Jimin was in pain. So much pain. Like being stabbed in the heart.  
Should have told me.  
Should have fucking told me Yoongi!! he screams and it hurts so much. Hurts and Jimin wants to die. Wants to end the pain. Was there no way to just stop.  
Jimin wants to see Yoongi.  
Wants Yoongi to see him.  
Tell him that he's in pain. That he never left. That he never stopped loving. Jimin never stopped loving Yoongi.  
Forever. I love you. Min Yoongi. I love you.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for being so miserable and angsty. I wrote this to get rid of my own heart break.  
> I'm sorry and thanks for reading!


End file.
